Tribute to Omer Hadžiselimović by Milorad Pejić

ABANDON ME NOT, WORLD!

(Omer Hadziselimovic 1946-2016, In Memoriam)

Abandon me not, world, do not leave, naïve swallow…  Omer’s death is more than two months old, but these verses by Miljkovic¹ still drum in my head, and have been since the day that brief message arrived in November of last year (only three days before his final exit) that nothing more could be done. We had known each other for only four years, but our friendship was honest and deep, like a forty-year-old well. When, from time to time, I toss a memory pebble into it, a whisper of a distant water emerges. That is how I still communicate with Omer Hadziselimovic. I told him in recent days that I can’t come to terms with the void he birthed, that his absence from life is unexcused--and his death utterly unfounded.

We found each other late in life, under strange circumstances, and, like in that unforgettable Eugenio Montale poem, I can say that even so it has been short, our long journey, I still went, arm in arm with Omer, down a million stairs of his translator’s workshop. He led me into secret chambers, unlocked treasure trunks, entrusted me with valuable documents, taught me to love at least five American poets of whom I only knew before, but to whose poetry I am now addicted. Even my own poems are more recognizable to me today because of Omer; by translating them into English, he sharpened the farsighted focus on that one pair of my glasses:

                  FR. OMER

                       Dedicated to Omer Hadžiselimović

Just as we are soft when it comes to the faults

of our own children, I could not step back from

my poems and view them with objective eyes.

I was not capable of reading them as someone

else's until the time when, at a resting-place for

diligences, my path crossed with Fr. Omer's.

Fr. Omer sat in a darkened room going through

freshly arrived mail. Now and then, coughing

or putting down his monocle, he'd startle the flame

on the candle. He'd bring my letters to his ear

and listen to them for a long time before copying

them to the reserve language and arranging

them in a shoebox. Today I got the package

and am sorting the mail that has just arrived.

I'm bringing my poems to my ear and listening

to them for the first time as someone else.

He was born in 1946, and lived in Sarajevo until 1994. Majored in English and German, got his Master’s degree, then his doctorate, taught at the Faculty of Philosophy at the University of Sarajevo, and along the way was promoted to the top academic ranks. It was as if he didn’t remember any of it!  His academic interests centered around English and American history and American literature. I never asked questions! He lived through the two most difficult years of the Sarajevo siege. Never talked much about it! From 1994 on he lived in the United States, taught at Loyola University in Chicago, participated in a number of literary projects, wrote, translated, received several recognitions, awards… Never boasted! With Marko Vesovic, the best contemporary living expert on how to read poetry, translated to and from English. Totally opposite personalities, yet top notch translations… I, too, remember exchanging up to twenty messages with Fr. Omer before settling upon the perfect English words while translating some tough verses of mine. I don’t know how he had the patience, or how he could even put up with an English language ignoramus like me.

Plans are made to fail, and when I peer into my sehara² filled with memories of Omer, the first thing I see is what’s missing: a planned reunion on Hvar in the summer of 2016, strolls along the plowed sea, hikes to the old tavern in the abandoned village of Humac … His Dina and Belma, so far away, whom he misses all the time, his Esma, always at his side, never whimpering. Who will translate this poetry for us now? Then again, haven’t we already translated everything, is there even anything left to say?

                 TYPESETTER

I have all the words, in all their nuances,

but there is nothing to speak anymore.

It's clear I'm in pitch darkness, the only

light - the eyes of keyholes. It's unclear

which side the precipices are on.

I have all the keys, I keep them in coded

safes. But I find it harder and harder to love:

there is no one to open them to anymore.

Omer has been dead for more than two months now, and I don’t know if his ashes have been given to the winds to scatter selflessly across continents. I haven’t asked! When you are dust in one place, you are dust everywhere. That way you’re returning home. Perhaps by the same road, carrying the same beauty and the same dangers so they can surprise you in an unfamiliar place.

Judging by the anachronistic moral principles he followed, Omer Hadziselimovic wasn’t really of this world. Rather, I would say that he belonged to another long-extinct human species, but somehow, like in a bad movie, accidentally slipped into the future. Now everything is in its right place again, and I believe that someone will soon stumble upon Omer’s stećak³ while wandering through some Bosnian Bogomil⁴ necropolis. And that, on that ancient stone, one will still be able to glimpse the fitting epitaph: He never said MINE or YOURS, never that icy word.⁵

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1 Branko Miljković, a post-World War Serbian poet who ended his own life aged twenty-seven.

2 Sehara, an artfully adorned box or trunk used for keeping the most precious belongings.

3 Stećak, medieval tombstones in Bosnia and Herzegovina and its neighboring countries.

4 Bogomils, members of the medieval Bosnian church, followers of the religious and political movement that originated in the tenth century as a response to the social stratification and as opposition to the state and church authorities.

5 Lightly modified verse of Greek poet Konstantinos Kavafis

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Translated by Esma Hadziselimovic (Milorad Pejic’s poems translated by Omer Hadziselimovic)

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Milorad Pejić:

NE NAPUŠTAJ ME SVIJETE!

(Omer Hadžiselimović 1946-2016, Sjećanje)

Ne napuštaj me svete, ne idi naivna lasto… Omerova smrt stara je već više od dva mjeseca ali mi ovi Miljkovićevi stihovi jednako bubnjaju u glavi sve od onog trenutka kad mi je u novembru prošle godina (samo tri dana prije njegovog definitivnog odlaska) stigla ona kratka poruka da se više ništa za njega ne može učiniti. Poznavali smo se svega četiri godine ali bilo je iskreno i duboko naše prijateljstvo kao bunar od četrdeset godina. Iz njega se javi šapat daleke vode kad ubacim ponekad kamičak sjećanja. Tako još uvijek komuniciram sa Omerom Hadžiselimovićem. Rekao sam mu ovih dana da ne mogu da se pomirim sa prazninom koju je porodio i da je njegovo odsustvo iz života naprosto neopravdano i njegova smrt potpuno neosnovana.

Našli smo se pokasno u životu, pod sticajem čudnih okolnosti, i kao u onoj jednoj nezaboravnoj pjesmi Eugenia Montalea mogu reći da bilo je kratko naše dugo putovanje ali stigao sam ipak da, zajedno s Omerom, siđem makar niz milion stepenica njegove prevodilačke radionice. Uveo me u tajne odaje, otključao blaga, povjerio mi na čuvanje vrijednosne papire, naučio me da volim najmanje pet američkih pjesnika o kojima sam do tada samo znao a danas sam njihove poezije ovisnik. Danas su mi i moje vlastite pjesme prepoznatljivije jer mi je Omer, prevodeći ih na engleski, izoštrio dioptriju na onom jednom paru naočala za daljinu:

          FRA OMER

                             Za Omera Hadžiselimovića

Na isti način na koji smo bolećivi spram mana

vlastite djece, nisam se mogao odmaći od

svojih pjesama i sagledati ih očima objektivnim.

Nisam ih mogao čitati kao nečije druge

sve dok mi se jednom, na odmorištu diližansi,

putevi ne ukrstiše sa putevima Fra Omerovim.

Fra Omer je sjedio u zamračenoj sobi i prebirao

dospjelu poštu. Ponekad bi kašljem ili ispuštanjem

monokla poplašio plamen na svijeći. Prinosio je

uhu i dugo slušao moja pisma prije no što bi ih

prepisivao na rezervni jezik i slagao u kutiju

za cipele. Danas sam dobio paket i razvrstavam

prispjelu poštu. Prinosim uhu i slušam po prvi put

svoje pjesme kao neko drugi.

Rodio se 1946. i živio u Sarajevu sve do 1994. Studirao anglistiku i germanistiku, magistrirao, doktorirao, radio na Filozofskom fakultetu, dobio sva univerzitetska zvanja. Kao da ih se nije sjećao! Bavio se pretežno engleskom i američkom historijom i američkom književnošću. Nisam ga zapitkivao! Izdržao dvije najteže godine opsade Sarajeva. Malo je o tome pričao! Od 1994 živio u USA, radio kao profesor na Univerzitetu Loyola u Čikagu, učestvovao u mnogim književnim projektima, pisao, prevodio, dobio mnoga priznanja, nagrade... Nije se nikad hvalio! Sa Markom Vešovićem, za čitanje poezije najvećim živim ekspertom našeg vremena, prevodio je na engleski i sa engleskog. Dva različita temperamenta, vrhunski prevodi... Znao sam i sam sa Fra-Omerom razmijeniti i po dvadesetak poruka prije nego bismo pronašli pravi engleski izraz za poneku tešku riječ pri prevođenju mojih stihova. Ne znam kako je imao živce, ne znam kako me je, ovako nepismenog za engleski, uopšte trpio.

Planovi su da propadaju i kad zavirim u seharu uspomena na Omera vidim prvo ono što mi u njoj nedostaje: jedan dogovoreni susret na Hvaru ljeta 2016, šetnje kraj uzoranog mora, izlet do konobe u napuštenom selu Humac... Njegova Dina i Belma koje su daleko i koje mu stalno nedostaju, njegova Esma koja je stalno uz njega a ne kmeči. Ko će nam sada tu poeziju prevoditi na engleski? Ali zar nismo već sve preveli, zar je potrebno da se više bilo šta govori?

                                 SLOVOSLAGAR

Sve riječi imam, u svim nijansama,

samo nema više šta da se govori.

Jasno je da sam u mrklom mraku,

jedina svjetlost – oči ključaonica.

Nije sigurno s koje strane su ponori.

Imam sve ključeve, čuvam ih pod

šifrom u kasama. Samo sve teže

volim: nema više kome da se otvori.

Omerova smrt stara je više od dva mjesaca i ne znam još da li je njegov prah predan vjetru da ga nesebično rasprši po kontinentima. Nisam pitao! Jer svejedno je. Kad si prah na jednom mjestu – prah si svagdje. Na taj način vraćaš se kući. Možda istim putem, noseći sa sobom istu ljepotu i iste opasnosti da te u nepoznatu kraju iznenađuju.

Sudeći prema anahronosti moralnih principa koje je slijedio, Omer Hadžiselimović zapravo nije ni bio od ovog svijeta. Prije bih rekao da je pripadao jednoj drugoj, odavno izumrloj ljudskoj vrsti ali je nekim slučajem, kao u lošem filmu, upao u budućnost. Sada je opet sve na svom mjestu i vjerujem da će neko uskoro nabasati na Omerov stećak tumarajući po nekoj od nekropola bosanskih Bogumila. I da će se na tom davnom kamenu još uvijek moći razabrati urezan epitaf koji savršeno pristaje: Nikada nije rekao MOJE ili TVOJE, nikad tu ledenu riječ*.

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 * Neznatno modifikovan stih grčkog pjesnika Kostantinosa Kavafisa

All Work - Copyright 2017 by Milorad Pejic - All Rights Reserved